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Joke of the Day

"The IRA have been fighting for Irish reunification since the 70s. . . All they needed to do was vote for the Conservatives."

"I'm running away to join the internet."

"How do dogs own cats? bitches have pussies"

"How to dress like Lady Gaga: 1. Go to ikea. 2. Pick a object that doesn't belong on your head. 3. Put it on your head."

"So the other day this guy almost died because of [removed]"

"One of my patients took me to Sioux City Now Iowa defense attorney a lot of money."

"Why did the ambassador have extra resistance to harmful foreign bacteria? He had diplomatic immunity."

"Why did god give Women legs? So they didn't leave slug trails. My father told me that when I was 8 years old."

"Do I just call you or should we resolve this quickly with 200 text messages?"

"A bullet hit chuck norris yesterday Today is the bullet's funeral"