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Joke of the Day

"I'm writing a song about getting my front door lock replaced. There's a lovely key change at the end."

"Ben Hur new politically correct versions For straight population: Ben Hur For homosexuals: Ben Gay For lesbians: Ben Wa"

"What do you call a tree that hates this joke? A face palm."

"I have a big business on kids and murders. They all love my ferrets."

"I've lost all control of my vowels... Now I'm completely in consonant."

"Today at a work a few customers told me they were in denial about the approaching snow storm... I told them to watch out for crocodiles."

"I farted in the Apple store and everybody got pissed It's not my fault they don't have Windows..."

"What did Delaware? A New Jersey"

"Your baby has no idea that you threw him a 1st birthday party. All you did was inconvenience your friends."

"I think my girlfriend's love for Einstein's theories is driving us away from each other. But, hey. I'll be a good guy and understand if she just wants some time and space."