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Joke of the Day

"I'm writing a song about getting my front door lock replaced. There's a lovely key change at the end."

"Now I'm not saying I plan to be a school shooter... but if I was Dylan.."

"What do you call someone who makes horribly lame jokes? A redditor"

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking. ............. JK rolling!"

"Did a little math tonight. Need to do 3,527 hours of cardio to get down to my ideal weight by summer, and not consume any calories."

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Fucked"

"Hey Journey, I stopped believing. What now?"

"Making jokes about rape is hard... because it's such a touchy subject and you always have to force it"

"Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween...I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors."

"Colin Firth has a younger brother named Colin Thecond"