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Joke of the Day

"Answer : Mrs.Claus Question : Who was the only person in history that was unhappy when Santa came early?"

"Not everyone understands my laundry method. It's simple. If it's clean, it's on the floor. If it's dirty, it's on the floor over there."

"You read for a part, you feel good about it, you feel confident, then they cast Ben Affleck."

"Geology rocks but making holes in rocks is boring."

"The worst part about by dad driving his hummer through a river was it was not his most expensive mistake. I was. It was me. I was the most expensive mistake."

"Have you heard the latest Unitarian Universalist miracle? Someone saw the face of Ralph Waldo Emerson on a tortilla."

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? keep the tip."

"what do you call fake spaghetti? impasta."

"BEAR JUDGE: Counsel, this is your last warning, you cannot-- LAWYER: *plays dead* BEAR JUDGE: Where did he go"

"I have a mammoth erection. It's gotta be worth a fortune."