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Joke of the Day

"I have a mammoth erection. It's gotta be worth a fortune."

"A boy walks into confession.... a short commotion later the lad limps back out"

"My parents never taught me how to be humble or modest I'm just naturally incredible at it."

"If someone says ""Someone in this room has a bomb,"" I can't rule myself out as a suspect. - Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Note7"

"""open up, this is the police!"" ""well, I've felt alone since my girlfriend left me, I'm sad all the time-"" ""no the door open up the door"""

"Student l: ""Did you know that ghosts are protected by the Constitution?"" Student 2: ""They are?"" Student 1: ""Sure. It's in the Bill of Frights!"""

"Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard."

"What has four legs, feathers, and can fly? Two birds"

"What are the chances that Donald Trump has so annoyed people... that even rapists and murderers don't want to be associated with him?"

"Love' is picking up tampons at the supermarket for your girlfriend. True love' is inserting them."