219952

Joke of the Day

"Have you heard the latest Unitarian Universalist miracle? Someone saw the face of Ralph Waldo Emerson on a tortilla."

"When will Cameron stop fucking with the system? when pigs fly"

"What 3 candies do you find in school? Redhots, DumDums, and smarties."

"Do we even know if ducks can fart? We should put a guy on that."

"What did the duck say to the hooker? Put it on my bill."

"What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? I have no idea but I wouldn't milk it."

"You like parachuting? That's messed up... you like the Paris Shooting!?"

"I hate when I'm singing along to the Beastie Boys and they mess up the lyrics."

"What does Batman put in his drink? Just ice"

"What key do you need to open a banana? A monkey"