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Joke of the Day
"what do you call fake spaghetti? impasta."
Next Joke
"This, being a gentleman thing really works. Women just fall for me when I offer them my handkerchief. Sure it's dabbed in chloroform..."
"""It's summer! Yay! No more school shootings!"" - American children."
"i told my cousin to embrace her mistakes. she cried. then she hugged her children."
"Birds shit on us because we tweet better."
"What do you call a vegetable that always stays outside? An un-in."
"A man's sex life is like an oak tree You spend the first part of your life growing up and not doing much. Then later you nut almost constantly for a short period of time, right up until you go bald"
"""Never go to bed angry"" is the worst advice ever. I haven't slept in eleven years."
"SHAME ON YOU LOT for showing newby tweeters bad behaviour this weekend *ring ring* ME: Hello FRIEND: Nat. Why is my son saying the F Word?"
"Milkman Today my girlfriend was sexually harassed by a milkman. This really happened"