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Joke of the Day

"Give me a few strong men, and I'll build a nation. Give me a few hot women, and I'll conquer the world."

"Today there was a band-aid on my plate, a bat flew in the house, & a bee stung me. Today was brought to me by the letter B."

"They say tragedy plus time equals comedy... but I just don't think my wife Debra farting herself to death in 2011 will ever be funny to me"

"Apple will start making Macs in America. In related news, Macs will now cost 3 billion dollars. #SOTU"

"So a termite walks into a bar and asks... ""Is the bartender here?'"

"Met an old friend... I ran into an old friend the other day. He asked if I was getting any on the side. I told him, ""It's been a long time, but I didn't know they'd moved it over."""

"What do you call a Asian walking a dog A vegetarian"

"Helluva guy John is a hellava guy. Type of guy who goes out on a Friday night, gets a couple of blow jobs, comes back and gives his buddy one."

"Q: Why did the invisible man look in the mirror? A: To make sure he still wasn't there."

"Can all 16gb iPhone users send a screenshot of their storage page? No sorry I don't have enough storage to take a screenshot."