187828

Joke of the Day

"Sure, I have gluten free Halloween candy for your kid. *Reaches in pocket & pulls out middle finger* Get off my lawn before I call the cops"

"Why did the pop band get cancer? They were radio active."

"When does Sean Connery like to show up at Wimbeldon? Tennish."

"The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble."

"I bought my dog a brand new flatscreen for his birthday today - I even had it engraved! TO SHIBA"

"Zayn Malik has a full beard now. He only shaves in one direction."

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they just beat the room for being black"

"I like the pink cans of mace because looking adorable while preventing rape is very important to me."

"What did the boy with no arms & legs get at the World Cup? Cancer. ( )"

"""She had a heart of gold."" - autopsy report"