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Joke of the Day

"[interview] ""I'm not sure your experience is sufficient for this position."" me: Trump is president ""Touche, you're hired"""

"I start every conversation with my employees by saying, ""I shouldn't be telling you this"" just so I know they will listen."

"My neighbor's facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning."

"4 out of 5 dentists agree that pursuing dentistry was a mistake."

"The even numbers said... The odds are against us."

"The number of lies told by men would decrease significantly if women stopped asking questions"

"It's raining I'm pouring. Chick at the bar is whoring. We went to bed, she gave me head. Who says conventions are boring?"

"A guy walks into a bar. ouch!"

"The moral of ""The Three Little Pigs"" is ""make your house with bricks."" Why are we giving four year olds architectural advice?"

"How do you assemble a computer? Bit by bit."