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Joke of the Day

"I start every conversation with my employees by saying, ""I shouldn't be telling you this"" just so I know they will listen."

"Sorry if long post, but definitely worth the read 10 million years TL;DR 10 million years"

"Does Al Pacino think that he's getting paid by the decibel?"

"My Favorite Limerick There once was a fellow McSweeney Who put some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his girlfriend a martini"

"It's fun to watch babies taste new things like ice cream, lemons, or 9-volt batteries."

"If you love somebody... Let them go. If they come back, no one wanted them."

"Two cannibals are stewing up a clown One turns to the other and says, ""Does this taste funny to you?"""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ben ! Ben who ? Ben knocking on this door all morning !"

"What is the difference between acne and gay men? Acne only attacks little boys when they reach puberty"

"If you think Hillary is going to drop out of the presidential race, you should know Hillary doesn't go down... That's why Bill had Monica."