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Joke of the Day

"The even numbers said... The odds are against us."

"Mexican & Black jokes are all the same, once you've heard Jaun, you've heard Jamal."

"I bought my friend an elephant... I bought my friend an elephant for their room. They said ""Thank you."" I said ""Don't mention it."""

"There is a thin line between a numerator and denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny."

"The moon landing was staged and it was shot by Stanley Kubrick, the reason it looks so real is because of Kubrick's obsession with filming on location."

"A boy came home with a C+ in music. He said with great vigor, ""I got an A-"""

"There's a 100% chance the Republicans will discuss Starbucks cups in a debate tonight, so remember that when they ask how they lost in 2016."

"A son asks his mom... -Mom, why is my cousin named Diamond? -Because Aunt Carol Loves Diamonds -What about me? -Enough questions Harambe"

"[baby is bouncing in swing seat] I I wish I had one of those. HER DAD They bring great joy. I (to self) Oh, he thinks I mean a baby."

"A man on his death bed smells cookies, gets up and walks into his kitchen. He asks his wife if he can have a cookie. The wife tells him to get out of here, those are for the wake"