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Joke of the Day

"If your feet smell and your nose runs... ...you're probably built upside-down."

"It's a good thing I'm off for a vacation soon. It took me 15 minutes of her talking about her Volvo before I realized she meant her car"

"last I dreamed.... I was a muffler. When I woke up I was exhausted."

"I suspect that my cat has plans to kill me. But has just never been awake long enough to carry them out."

"I tried to upload the superbowl to... Pornhub, but they dont accept rape."

"What's the difference between a Christmas star and a bad pickling job? One brightly shines..."

"What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair (credit to my physics teacher's wife)"

"The White House Correspondents' Dinner is ... just a big political party."

"Pete and Repeat were on a boat in the middle of a lake. Pete fell off. Who's left?"

"Why are vegans so salty? To hide the fact that their food has no flavor."