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Joke of the Day

"It is literally impossible to prove that Harry Potter wasn't just in his parents basement on acid the whole time"

"I sold my old bike the other day. I decided it was time to peddle it."

"What's the difference between 3 dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke."

"""May your old acquaintances be forgotten and never brought to mind."" -Sir Smirnoff"

"There's this band called one thousand and twenty three megabytes They haven't had any gigs yet."

"What's a Jewish person's least favourite subreddit? r/showerthoughts"

"I like my men like I like mathematics. Hard."

"Of all the cars in Italy... Mussolini's is the fascist."

"Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion."

"Isn't it ironic that crocodiles like water and people who wear Crocs are douchbags. Ok, maybe I don't know what ironic means."