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Joke of the Day

"5yo: I dreamt I ate your brownie. Me: Wait, what happened to my brownie?? 5: Dreams come true."

"Massive US Blizzard advancing North African American community complains about exclusion of black snowflakes."

"Made the mistake of letting my east coast newspaper freeze on the steps this winter... I've fallen on some hard Times."

"Lesbians why do lesbians go to sports authority becuase they dont like dicks"

"Where you do see yourself in five years? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision!"

"Who Has a Chance for the Title: The World's First Gay Ass Motherfucker? Brody Jenner, Bruce's / Caitlyn's son First joke posted."

"What do you call a fish that eats shit? A bottom feeder."

"I'm going to make a movie about a guy in a turban who turns into a monster at night... ...it'll be called ""Hyde & Sikh""."

"*licks excess icing off mixer & spoon* Wife: Aww, thanks hun! Me: For what? W: Doing my dishes! M: Oh, I didn-- W: ... M: You're welcome."

"What does a power ranger say before they do drugs? It's morphine time!"