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Joke of the Day

"Massive US Blizzard advancing North African American community complains about exclusion of black snowflakes."

"Just learned that if lightning strikes within 50 feet of you, you can speak every language simultaneously and pee out of your eyes."

"A man had three sons. One was a model, the second a hair stylist.. The third one was also a faggot."

"I saw in the newspaper that my town was searching for a pedophile. I called in thinking I could help but it turns out that it wasn't actually a job opening."

"How many monastic women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None... they live an ascetic lifestyle and prefer to not use electricity."

"Whats the closest a Mexican will ever be to happiness? The border."

"The farmer's wife just ran off with a farm equipment salesman. She wrote him a John Deere letter."

"Harambe walks into a bar Bartender: What can I get for you? Harambe: Just ice for Harambe. Bartender: Sorry, we're out of ice. Best I can give you is a shot."

"How do you prevent alcoholism? Shots."

"[Installing ceiling fan] Me: drill...screwdriver... tape...there finished! Wife on the phone: Is this Bob's fix-it shop? Yeah, he just got done."