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Joke of the Day

"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it."

"What did Helen Keller say after she finished her bowl of cereal for breakfast? I may be blind, but I can see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch."

"The other day, an ex girlfriend of mine was hit by a bus near my house And I thought to myself ""that could've been me"" Then I remembered - I can't drive a bus"

"What do you call a gay T-Rex? A Dino-sore-ass."

"Prison Guard: ""So you two cons are in love?"" Con1: ""Yes."" Con2: ""It's like we finish each other's..."" *in unison* ""death sentences."""

"Why did the trout go to med school? Mounting pressure from his friends and family"

"Have you heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind. I shouldn't spread it."

"I explained gluten allergy' to my grandma and she sighed and told me they ate leather belts during WWII to keep from starving"

"Why did the football coach go to Aldi? To get his quarter back!"

"Few things are as consistently weird as the guy/girl handshake."