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Joke of the Day

"I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. Then he was chuffed to bits."

"What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor"

"What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home? When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!"

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards of boats If they fell forwards they would be on the boat"

"What do you call a Kansas cover band composed of physicists? Baryon my wayward son!"

"What did a homosexual reindeer say to Santa Claus? Sleigh, daddy."

"That one. ""that one."" says a booy. ""what do you mean?"" says another boy. ""oh, i was just answering your question."" ""what question?"" ""i already told you."""

"If your Uncle Jack was stuck on the horse... Would you help your uncle jack off the horse?"

"Why are turtles dangerous in China ? Because they can turtle you."

"I judge you by what's behind you in your photos."