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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I don't cry when I'm cutting up the hooker"

"""Hey, wanna get hunted down by humans?"" ""Sure, I'm game."""

"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hang onto your nuts, because this is going to be one hell of a blow job."

"I wondered why the truck was getting larger... ... Then it hit me"

"So Recep Tayyip Erdogan says to Michelle Bachelet, ""Do you want to get together and make some dinner?"" For you dense fuckers, this joke is playing on Turkey and Chile's presidents."

"Coworker: you play any sports Me: yeah but I've had to take a break from it CW: oh..Injury? Me: *thinks about broken controller* yeah..kinda"

"It's funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side My roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing"

"Blood is thicker than water, so I'm going to have to use Comet on this bathtub"

"If ISIS would really like the world to know their intentions.. they should kill a lion"

"all pans are no-stick pans if you no-cook in them."