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Joke of the Day

"Aging gracefully is like the nice way of saying you're slowly looking worse."

"Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.. Okay I'm done"

"What's faster than a black guy running with a stolen T.V.? His brother with the DVR"

"Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Tequillllaaaa"

"6th grade nurse: do you play baseball Me: uhh why Nurse: your right arm is so much stronger than- Me: oh yeah! Yeah I play baseball so much"

"Took my 3rd self-defense class, so if anyone feels like attacking me straight on, very slowly, w/ a fake knife in their right hand, BRING IT"

"Ten words, two commas, a punctuation mark and a full stop all appeared in court yesterday. They're due to be sentenced next week."

"Why did the hamster die? He just didn't have the wheel to live."

"""Describe yourself in 4 words."" Bad at counting."

"Why did Jesus get a ticket? He tried to skip the Cross walk."