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Joke of the Day

"Took my 3rd self-defense class, so if anyone feels like attacking me straight on, very slowly, w/ a fake knife in their right hand, BRING IT"

"I'm so tired I could sleep a horse"

"What do you call a disembodied nose? Nobody nose. My 8-year-old niece claims she made this up. I have my doubts."

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers? One is a Goodyear, and the other is a great year."

"My girlfriend and I play a game where we see who can yell rape the loudest while having sex. She doesn't know we play it but she still wins every time."

"Canada Post is under heavy DDoS attack. Somebody sent 2 letters at the same time."

"What's big and ugly and drinks out of the wrong side of the glass? A monster trying to get rid of hiccups."

"I was going to try and convert my friend to nihilism. But I decided it would be pointless."

"I test drove a Kia today It wasn't really my Forte"

"Don't bore a girl by saying she's beautiful, like every other shallow creep Grab her interest by saving her from a staged hostage situation"