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Joke of the Day
"I took two headache tablets an hour ago... Still haven't got one."
Next Joke
"Don't ever ask a burrito if you should eat it, it will always say no, because burritos are really smart."
"It's not a nap if you never got out of bed."
"I'm never mean to a girl in glasses, because she will most likely turn out to be hot and popular by the end of the movie."
"My daughter loves all the toys she sees in commercials. So of course I have to tell her they don't exist in real life, just on tv."
"What sis Selenium say to Xenon? U SeXe."
"Why couldn't the pornstar join the navy? There was too much seamen."
"Me: Just so you know, I'm DTF right now. Wife: I don't know what ""DTF"" means. Me: Take a guess. Wife: (pause) Definitely Too Fat?"
"Where do I see myself in 5 years? May 2019. Next question."
"What's the difference between a naked white woman and a naked black woman One is on the cover of playboy while the other is on the cover of national geographic"