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Joke of the Day

"All I'm saying is when I'm drunk in the backyard I still put my shirt on just like everyone else, one leg at a time..."

"When people say 'oh, you're still single?' I like to reply with 'wow, you're still married?' I'm popular."

"What did the messed up psychologist have for dinner? Freud rice."

"TIFU by getting meatball marinara instead of steak and cheese... Oops, wrong sub"

"Not to brag but I'm one of those people who can eat whatever she wants and still gain a concerning amount of weight."

"So what's the deal with Jesus? I mean he's just been hangin' around for the last 2000 years."

"Guys, I just found a BUNCH of Mohicans!"

"""Girls love illegible texts at 3:00am. Trust me."" -Alcohol"

"What is 6.9? A really great thing ruined by a period."

"Why do Jews not support arranged marriages? Because the Torah doesn't allow ""force kin""."