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Joke of the Day

"So what's the deal with Jesus? I mean he's just been hangin' around for the last 2000 years."

"It's funny how you can do nice things for people all the time and they never notice. But, once you make one mistake, it's never forgotten."

"guy next to me on my flight is just staring forward. no movie, no book, nothing. so its been nice knowing you I'm about to be murdered"

"How many ears does Spock have? Three: a left ear, a right ear, and the last front ear."

"What is your preferred type of birth control? ""Well, its not preferred, but I practice abstinence."""

"What do you call a snake who works for the governement ? A civil serpent !"

"I'm no mathementientist, but I should probably go to bed because it's 4AM and I'm making up words again."

"What do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows..."

"What are sardines? A little fish that smells like fingers."

"[after an accident on the ski slope] ME: did i nail the triple backflip PARAMEDIC: u choked on a tootsie roll and fell off of the ski lift"