149489

Joke of the Day

"Is it ""raymen"" noodles or ""rawmun"" noodles? I don't wanna sound stupid when asking the gas station clerk for a wine to complement my dinner."

"Why do you keep saying flail? Because Fail isn't in my vocabulary. ------- Overheard on the train."

"free space program idea: when you bring a spaceship back to earth land it on a huge seesaw and launch another ship off the other side"

"My ex's taught me that not every I love you is real."

"A zombie visits the Dry Cleaners. He shuffles up to the assistant behind the counter, holds up his dirty underwear and says... ""STAAAAINNNS! STAAAAINNNNS!"""

"Me: My blood pressure is sky high. I need to get my affairs in order. Him: Make a will? Me: I was thinking flings with hot men, but OK."

"If you Say the word ""murder"" over and over again out loud, it starts to sound really weird and everyone in this starbucks will stare at you."

"A man has been arrested after a bungled attempted at the theft of a combine harvester, during which he fell into the working parts of the machine. Police expect him to be bailed tomorrow."

"Why aren't there any introverted suicide bombers? They have a hard time sharing what's inside with strangers."

"How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies? 10....one to bake the cookies, and 9 to peel the M&Ms"