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Joke of the Day

"Took my girlfriend to a baseball game this last season We made a deal in the beginning. I kiss her on every strike and she kisses me on the balls."

"Guy calls his wife and says, ""I had an accident at the factory today - a machine cut off my finger!"" His wife asks, ""The whole finger?"" He replies, ""No, the one next to it."""

"Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors? Because if it had 4, it would be a chicken sedan."

"I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. **It was riveting!**"

"Trump says ""The less immigrants we let into our country the better!"" Pence, correcting Trump, says ""The Fewer"" Trump says ""Whoa Mike don't call me that just yet"""

"I hate when homeless people beg me for money. No, buddy, I'm not giving you money to buy drugs. I need that money to buy drugs."

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snowlady? Snowballs!"

"A man walks into a bar... Just kidding, he is actually sitting at home."

"Let go.. New perspective.. If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, . . . . nobody wanted them."

"What do you call a friendly Mancunian midwife? Ultra sound"