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Joke of the Day

"*LIGHTHOUSE* BATMAN - You call? L/HOUSE KEEPER - Shit, not again man. I am so sorry. BATMAN - Dead seagull on the light? LK -*Nods*"

"What do you call a depressed dog swimming in a pool? A watermeloncollie."

"Seriously, this is the last time I trust a baby with firearms."

"What did the SMG say to his son when he left for work Bizon"

"Three nuns are walking down the street, when a streaker runs past them. The first one has a stroke The second one has a stroke And the third doesn't touch him."

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? None they all screw in sleeping bags."

"Facebook: Helping you acknowledge the existence of people you had been successfully ignoring for years."

"imagine explaining a magazine to a teen today ""yeah it's four bucks, there's like 900 words on 32 pages, and you'll get another next month"""

"So, today I woke up and asked my UK counterpart... ""Did you have eggs and bacon with your Brexit this morning?"""

"I walked into a bar and some chick tried to pick me up I said ""Put me down, you are going to hurt yourself."""