102346

Joke of the Day

"CALL AN AMBULANCE!? NO WAY! that old lady is DEFINITELY unconscious. here, go start my car. I'm gonna go wipe the prints off our frisbee."

"My sister told me she's dating an Irish guy I said, ""Oh really?"" She replied, ""No, O'Reilly."""

"What did God say when he created the first black person? ""Dammit I burnt one!"""

"Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful."

"Don't you hate that feeling when you close your eyes to apply shampoo, and get paranoid that someone will kill you in the shower."

"Hi, what's your name? My name is Yura Phag"

"Are you alright? No. You're all....left"

"What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business."

"What have you done wrong if the wife keep complaining when you try to watch TV in the living room? You made the chain too long in the kitchen."

"""Oh you just put lotion on? You're not going anywhere."" - Doorknob"