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Joke of the Day

"Guys, freedom of speech doesn't mean you can spell things any way you want to."

"[orders 2,000 Big Macs thinking I'll only have to tell my mom 'I love her' for them] Cashier: that'll be $5,364.32 Me: shit"

"1) Find and catch a rabbit 2) Go to restaurant 3) Complain about a hare in your meal 4) Enjoy free meal plus adorable household pet"

"I saw Adam Sandler at the beach He said he went there for the SAND"

"Why was the rooster angry? He just found his chicken strips. (Courtesy of my creative bartender pal)"

"Years ago I bought a dress for my wife at a store that sells hard-to-find items. I asked why I never see her wearing it. She said she can't find it."

"I brought my son a refrigerator for his birthday I just can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it!"

"First Jon Stewart retires, then Brian Williams gets suspended. What's happening to fake news?"

"Why did the Samurais armor break? There was a chink in it."

"Thursday is ""date night"", when I force my family to eat all the expired food in our fridge."