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Joke of the Day

"I was walking down the road when I ... ...saw an Afghan bloke standing on a 5th floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him""Whats up, Abdul, wont it start?"""

"A nutritionist wants us to examine a sandwich. So lettuce..."

"How high can Miss Piggy count? 68, because at 69 she gets a frog in her throat..."

"What do you call a group of 10 insects that live in a housing complex? Tenants"

"No wonder Jared lost weight... He doesn't like footlongs."

"Forget sex positions, has anyone found a reading position that doesn't get uncomfortable after about 5 minutes?"

"A man walks into a bar... His friends ducked."

"Which murderer is the safest to be stuck in an elevator with? The ax murderer of course. He will always ax you before murdering you."

"TIL Muslim extremists do not like pulled pork sandwiches. whoops, wrong sub."

"I'm currently on two different diets Because with just one I'm always hungry"