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Joke of the Day

"The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating."

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"[Showing a friend around the house] Me: And THIS is where my 5 yr old eats his popcorn. *motions to area covered in popcorn."
"What do you call a ghost who had a sex change? TRANSparent"
"Why did the coach prohibit the blonde from giving any bj's to the team? The guys complained about the blow-dryer being too hot ..."
"I met an exercising nun. She was a firm believer."
"What's Nigel Thornberry's favorite band? The Smashing Pumpkins."
"Knock, Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!"""
"My boss is so inappropriate at work Whenever there's an opportunity for innuendo he slips it in"
"why did the possum cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken."
"In an unexpected motion, Texas Republicans have voted to move midnight to 1am."