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Joke of the Day

"Rafael Nadal got done by an Australian teenager today at Wimbledon. Rolf Harris is having raging fits of jealousy."

"What did the neckbeard say when he looked in the mirror? M'self"

"Interviewer: It says here you're skilled at saying unexpected things? Me: Yes, I am. Interviewer: Hmm, I thought you were going to say something unexpec-- oh, you're good."

"-Honey, what made you fall in love with me? -Your mother. -But my mother lives 5000 miles away. -That's why..."

"At a gag gift exchange, I gave a woman a hotdog and a condom She said ""Frankly, I never sausage a small weiner."""

"My wife just said ""I'm pregnant!"" I said ""Hi pregnant, I'm dad!"""

"I have the greatest dad ever Every year he got so mad when Santa didn't bring me presents"

"Who do they get for Babe the pig's dangerous movie scenes? A stunt ham."

"What's the most popular website in Illinois? Cornhub.com"

"For our 25th anniversary, I took my wife to Hawaii... ...and for our 26th I plan to go back and get her."