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Joke of the Day
"Boss: Are you high? [Me watching him evaporate] I hope so."
Next Joke
"Mmm piece of candy What smells like candy and tastes like fish?"
"4-year-old: Can you hold my rubber ducky? Me: *takes the ducky* Why? 4: I dropped it in the toilet."
"I was cooking a dish with onions in it and my friend cried. I only now realized recently that she wasn't raising that dog for food."
"What is a Norweigan's compact car of choice? A Fjord Fjocus."
"Yes I am 45, male and love cats. Recently I posted a selfie. It could be worse though, right? Hello?"
"Brain: What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on? Do the math! Me: Seriously?! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow"
"Why is Obama pro gay marriage? Because he is a cock sucker"
"How many Latin Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A Brazilian."
"Do you smoke... The Lady asked,"" Do you Smoke after Sex?"" I said,"" My gosh I never Looked!!!"""