20976

Joke of the Day

"I'm not drunk. I'm a gravity inspector... ...and everything seems to be in order here. *falls down/passes out*"

"""Shoot it down."" ""But, Mr. Putin... it's clearly a sleigh... pulled by Reindeer."" ""Shoot. It. Down."""

"It's funny how liberals think Donald Trump oppresses women and hates gays Like he's a Muslim or something."

"*cop approaches me* ""have u seen this girl?"" *holds up photo* ""yeah I've seen her, NAKED"" *hi-5* ""haha but seriously shes in my trunk"""

"My wife is much happier with a beer inside her. I just wish she'd drink it afterwards."

"I got a new car for my wife! It was a great trade!"

"If poly means many and ticks are blood sucking parasites, then politics must mean..."

"I'm in a band called 1023 megabytes... We haven't had a gig yet"

"How does Darth Vader manage to eat through that mask? He's force fed."

"I think we should solve world hunger. You might say I'm a strong believer in world peas. ^I'll ^see ^myself ^out..."