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Joke of the Day

"If poly means many and ticks are blood sucking parasites, then politics must mean..."

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"What time of day was Adam born? Just a little before Eve"
"I bought a LazyBoy chair last year It's still in the package"
"A kid next to me at Starbucks says I smell like his dad. I'm like 'Well, your Dad's an alcoholic. Scram!'"
"What kind of amphibian is in charge of the salad bar? a salad-manager"
"Actor Jim Carrey vehemently denounced California's new vaccination requirement for all school-age children because it would render them immune to the childhood disease of being a fan of Jim Carrey."
"How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne? It's when the blind try to read your face."
"At the very highest level of karate, they give you pants that fit so you no longer need a belt."
"What's the definition of a cannibal? Some who goes into a restaurant and orders a waiter!"
"I bought some Bose stocks today. It was a sound investment."