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Joke of the Day

"""Shoot it down."" ""But, Mr. Putin... it's clearly a sleigh... pulled by Reindeer."" ""Shoot. It. Down."""

"Parents that tell u ""it's just a little noise"" when their kid cries on a train are the same ones who knock on ur door when the music is loud"

"I am better off now than I was 4 beers ago..."

"I have OCD and ADHD... So everything has to be just right, but only for a little while."

"What do you call a guy who pretends he can speak French? A francophony"

"How does Lady Gaga like her... ...Steaks? . . . Raw, Raw, Raw Raw Raw!"

"What do you call Benedict Cumberbatch in The Imitation Game? Homogeneous."

"How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia? It would have been called a teeth brush anywhere else."

"What did the pastry from Denmark say to the pastry from Norway? Hey, I'm Danish. JK they're pastries, they can't talk."

"What do you call a dog who likes a lot of bass in his music? A Sub-Woofer."