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Joke of the Day

"Father in law just made an accidental calculus joke By the time I got to calculus in math, I realized I had reached my limit."

"What's the worst part about being a pedophile? Getting the blood out of your clown suit."

"My new party trick.. I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together. I sh!t you knot."

"I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected. "

"Doctor asks a patient... Do you use drugs or alcohol? Patient: Nope, but I vape. Doctor: So a no for sexual activity?"

"I call my penis ""my aircraft carrier"" Because there are always seamen in it."

"I just remembered the fuck out of the titans."

"I went to a nightclub the other evening and saw a topless ventriloquist. She was really good. I never saw her lips move."

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves free"

"What do you call a midget, that escaped prison, that is also a psychic? A small medium at large."