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Joke of the Day

"Enthusiasm 365 days until Christmas and people already have their trees up."

"My subconscious wants Thai food but my inner goddess wants pizza."

"Sailors really want to be cool. But they're just naut."

"I realized why the media isn't taking my presidential campaign seriously. Occasionally, I'll slip up and accidentally tell the truth."

"A man walks into a bar He got his penis out and was promptly arrested for public indecency."

"Juicy J What did Juicy J say when he cummed all over his legs? Jizz on mah feet, yeah, Jizz on mah feet.."

"My child: Mom, there's a monster under my bed. Me: ""That's impossible, they're all running for president right now."""

"It's really weird to think about the fact that I've slept with literally everyone in my high school.. It's a lot less weird when you realize it's one in the morning and my high school is vacant."

"I've learned there are two types of people in this world: People I trust to help me bury bodies... ...and bodies"

"Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: No ideer. Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs? A: Still no ideer"