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Joke of the Day
"*goes through crush's phone when he dies* *gets out ouija board* ""who is Emma"""
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A zit will wait until you're twelve before it comes on your face."
"I'm starting to think I overuse exclamation points. It ends today. Right now. I'll never ever use one again. I'm so excited about it. Yes."
"If The Lego Movie is about anything other than parents walking around and cursing after stepping on Legos, it's not based on a true story."
"My favorite book is a Stephen King novel... but you've probably never heard of It"
"I wonder if I could fit my entire body inside a woman's. Through her mouth. Penis-first."
"Jack and Jill went up a hill;   to have a bit of fun.   But stupid Jill forgot the pill;   and now they have a son."
"What fish is made of only two sodium ions? 2 Na :D"
"boss: trouble at home? me: [jumps awake at my desk] yeah boss: wife giving you grief? me: there's a bee in my kitchen"
"If your girlfriend starts smoking slow down or apply lubricant"