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Joke of the Day

"Dove: ..then he called me a fat pigeon! [sobs] Prince: ""There there, cry it out"" [starts recording] Um, you are a therapist, right? ""Sure"""

"Mainstream Media: Obama signs repeal of DADT. Fox News: Foreigner masquerading as President admits he's gay."

"My personal trainer told me to stop eating pizzas but if I'm craving it I should just eat one slice. So now I ask them not to cut the pizza."

"Global warming is real the number of hot singles in my area has been increasing since 2007 that cannot be a coincidence"

"Why has Mexico never won olympic gold? All those who can run, jump and swim are in Texas."

"I don't know why there has been all this hate lately about trophy hunting exotic animals... As a guy, on a couple of drunken nights I have slayed a few elephants... and a whale."

"When life gives you melons... ...you probably have dislexia."

"*tweet gets 3 rts* please no autographs"

"What do Jedi sheep sound like? Dagobah."

"Made a typo writing this report and stumbled on the worst joke. Database Administrator: I love my database so much, you could say she's my databae."