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Joke of the Day

"I'm trying to give up ice cream. It's been a rocky road."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered six offender! Badum dum tiss"

"What did the old fly say to the young fly? I've seen a lot of shit!"

"Did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground? Well, well, well..."

"How do you weight a fish? With a scale."

"How can your make 7 even? Take away the ""S"""

"Cats make the best boyfriends because they're soft, loyal, and won't claim they're straight but then turn gay after one lousy date, BRENT!"

"[7:30pm] Tonight I'll actually go to bed on time and get sleep! [2:30am] the most money ever paid for a cow at an auction was $1.3 million"

"Not now ex-boyfriend. Someone favorited 2 of my tweets. I'm a huge deal around there now & you lost your chance. Just kidding. What time?"

"I'd like to thank the floor, for always catching me when I'm falling down."