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Joke of the Day

"[7:30pm] Tonight I'll actually go to bed on time and get sleep! [2:30am] the most money ever paid for a cow at an auction was $1.3 million"

"Why did 10 die? Cuz he was in the middle of 9/11"

"I wish my cocaine was emo so it would cut itself."

"I got arrested for running out of gas on the highway. I told the cop I was on E."

"Spider-man never tweets via iPhone. He's a web kinda guy."

"Here's an example of a cliffhanger"

"""I'd hit that!"" -Helpful blackjack dealer"

"If you're heartbroken, remember: There are plenty of fish in the sea. But I'd advise giving mankind another chance first."

"Newsflash: Two criminals have escaped from prison today. One is orange and 9ft tall and the other green and yellow and 2ft Gin tall. The police are searching high and low for them."

"Mum could you write me a P.E. note? dear miss My daughter has requested i write a note for P.E. hear it is.. I found this funny i found it on the mirrors website, like this actually happened ha"