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Joke of the Day

"A magician begins pulling scarf after scarf after scarf out of his front tuxedo pocket until Steven Tyler slowly fades away from all photos."

"Sequel series to House M.D. announced Its confirmed name is ""Full House"""

"I made a girl wet yesterday. I took away her umbrella."

"""NOAH. YOU WILL BUILD AN ARK"" k ""NOT ""K"" THIS IS IMPORTANT"" Sorry ""THATS OK. TAKE 2 OF EVERY ANIMAL ON IT"" Even fish? *THUNDER* ""NO NOT FISH"

"How does a penguin build its house ? Igloos it together"

"The human body is 90% water, so we're basically just cucumbers with anxiety."

"I chuckled at this one Suicidal arsonist burned at the stake."

"My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker... ...so I told her to roll them tighter."

"I told my grandmother to act her age.... then she died."

"They told me to get help when I was suicidal. My guy was terrible-- he wouldn't even pull the trigger!"