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Joke of the Day
"I made a girl wet yesterday. I took away her umbrella."
Next Joke
"I don't like my masseuse... She just rubs me the wrong way."
"[police interrogation] ""What do you do for a living?"" ""Drug dealer."" ""Louder, for the tape."" [leans in] ""Bug healer. I heal bugs."""
"Where did Hitler keep his armies? In his sleevies. ^^^^Sorry"
"She doesn't follow Newton's law I give her a stare but she doesn't give me an equal and opposite reaction"
"Whenever I see a couple with a significant height difference, I always picture them doing it."
"My mom once told me if I jack off I'll go blind I never saw her again"
"I live by 2 simple rules: 1. Don't treat people like shit. 2. If any melted cheese gets on your paper plate, you must also eat the plate."
"A priest checks into a Hyatt... A priest checks into a Hyatt. Asks the front desk, ""Is the porn channel disabled?"" Guy at the front desk replies, ""No, you sick fuck. It's regular porn."""
"Who has the biggest duck in Compton? A tripod"