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Joke of the Day
"Sequel series to House M.D. announced Its confirmed name is ""Full House"""
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"A sissy in a Prius terrormobile tried to race me at a stop sign. Had him for the first 100 feet, but a fella can only walk so fast. Merica."
"We need to be more concerned about dinosaur ghosts"
"What do blacks and apples have in common? If they're not being sold on a farm they're hanging from a tree. Da ho, no I didnt."
"Why do the jews have such big noses? because air is free"
"I'm 43 yrs old and still buying pot at a mall parking lot. On the flip side, Mom is 70 and still selling it there."
"Could you kill a monster just by throwing eggs at him? Of course - he'd be eggs-terminated."
"What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer? A full bull!"
"[looks over neighbour's fence while he's in the pool] ""Dude, we get it. You can hold your breath for [looks at watch] 19 days."""
"WIFE: I love you NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: Actually it's just emotional comfort after years of being toget- WIFE: *packing* I'll be at my mothers"