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Joke of the Day

"Sequel series to House M.D. announced Its confirmed name is ""Full House"""

"*buys soap on a rope Cashier: Paper or plastic? Me: Neither.. I'll wear it out thanks"

"Oh, you hate when guys stare at your boobs? You should call the police and report the person who ripped your top three buttons open then."

"College guy: How do you like it? Me: Salty...of course *slaps down $20 CG: We'll take two pretzels with salt ~Get outta the gutter pervs"

"The guy two cubes down wears vests, curls his mustache, and never says a word. I always smile politely because maybe he'll spare my life."

"What do you call a woman who dyes her hair red? Transginger."

"Why do porn sites have a share to Google plus button I don't want my friends to know I have Google plus"

"I knew a guy obsessed with baking pastries. He was a real dough-nut."

"The scariest moment in any man's life is when his wife stops talking and it's his turn to say something in a conversation he's been ignoring"

"i'm the human version of samwise gamgee, can't destroy the ring but make sure it gets home so someone else can"