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Joke of the Day

"They told me to get help when I was suicidal. My guy was terrible-- he wouldn't even pull the trigger!"

"Where did Hitler watch TV? In his *Lebensraum.*"

"Q: Why are the Harry Potter films unrealisitc? A: A ginger kid has 2 friends!"

"Her: Oh, you brought me flowers! Me: Yes, one of the many benefits of living next door to a graveyard..."

"Q: What is the most military day of the year? A: March 4th."

"What's fun about having sex with twenty-one year olds? You know, there is twenty of them"

"Ok everyone enough of your ""family"" time, come back to the internet. We are your real family."

"[first day as a midwife] ME: Keep pushing! I can see the head! NURSE: You're at the wrong end."

"What if Rob Lowe robbed Lowes? Just imagine the crazy headlines. They'd probably say something like... ""Rob Lowe Robs Lowes"""

"Swiss cheese is cheating cheese cause there's holes where there could be more cheese stay woke."