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Joke of the Day
"What do you call someone who always tells shitty jokes? Fecetious."
Next Joke
"I heard Matt Damon took it real hard when he heard Robin Williams died. I just hope he remembers. It's not your fault. It's not your fault..."
"Why couldn't I call back a Bernie Sanders volunteer? Because they were using a Berner Phone."
"If you're literally asking me to choose between our relationship and my obsession with pointing out doors to people, well, there's the door."
"What did the Mexican man say after two houses fell on him? ""Get off me, homes"""
"Have you guys heard of the new ska/dubstep band? first they drop the bass. then they pickitup-pickitup-pickitup!"
"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One doesn't scream when you put it in an oven"
"My mom says I procrastinate... But I'll deal with that later"
"Why did the mushroom get invited to a party? because he was a fungi"
"I'm sorry, all I hear is your perfume"