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Joke of the Day

"You know, I haven't always been liberal You would see I'm a big fan of 80's Bush, if you check my search history."

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"""Dad, I'm I want you to move back home rent free"" hi I want you to move back home rent free. I'm dad ""Ok thanks dad"" well shit"
"What do you call a woman with one nipple? Titty Wap."
"I'm crowd funding an organic lettuce purchase from Whole Foods."
"What did the lumberjack see? He saw a tree."
"GUY 1: I beat cancer GUY 2: I backpacked thru Europe GUY 1: So what? GUY 2: And I didn't tell anyone about it when I got back GUY 1: You win"
"How do you get holy water You boil the hell out of it"
"Co-worker: ""If you love something, set it free, if it comes back it's yours to k.."" Me - ""THOSE ARE BOOMERANGS, MICHELLE."""
"Which is better a stool or a box to stand on? You stand on a stool, though I prefer the ladder"
"What happens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose."
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