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Joke of the Day

"Co-worker: ""If you love something, set it free, if it comes back it's yours to k.."" Me - ""THOSE ARE BOOMERANGS, MICHELLE."""

"What is the worst thing about sex in a cemetery? All the damn digging."

"White trash girl How do you get a white trash girl to suck your dick? Dip it in ranch dressing."

"Today, I lost my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about that..."

"Men spend more time smelling their clothes than they do cleaning them."

"My new years resolution is the same as last year. 1920x1080"

"Two dogs on a coffee break *Dogs on coffee break* Dog 1: Heard a great joke. Dog 2: Oh yeah? Dog 1: Knock kn- *Dog 2 goes fuckin' nuts*"

"Dinner with Mom: Are these real people you're talking about or are they from the internet?"

"Dating tip: Don't do it, a disturbingly high percentage of people are actually flesh eating insects in human suits. Just stay home instead."

"Most people have 32 teeth. Some People have 10. Its simple meth."