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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a woman with one nipple? Titty Wap."
Next Joke
"Why I love duct tape? It can turn ""No, no no!"" into ""mmph, mmmph, mmmph"""
"I saw a woman crying on a park bench so I sat down and hugged her and whispered ""please stop stealing my spotlight"""
"Why is glue white? If it were black it would run. It just wouldn't work."
"I don't always kill spiders, sometimes I stare at them a short while to see if we can reach an understanding"
"Michael Jackson, too soon? What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One of them walks on the moon, the other one fucks little boys in the ass"
"How do you circumcise a redneck? You kick his sister in the jaw."
"I hadn't seen my girlfriend for a while... When she saw me, she said, ""Wow, your hands are so soft!"" ""But... where have you been working out?"""
"Haters gonna hate. Tweeters gonna tweet. It's actually pretty obvious that verbs are performed by their respective nouns."
"I'm a leader, not a follower... Unless it's into a dark place, then screw that, you're going first."