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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fat joke on reddit? Banned"

"Teacher: Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago ? Pupil: Me !"

"Going down on a woman is the best. The way her thighs cover your ears so you can finally get some quiet time..."

"A patient wakes up from surgery and exclaims 'Doctor! Doctor! What's wrong with me? I can't feel my legs!' The doctor replies: Yes, well I'm afraid we had to amputate both your arms."

"FRIEND: Do you want to go [i don't hear the rest because i'm already sighing too loudly]"

"[homeless guy walks up to me at the park] ""what are you doing inside my house?"""

"Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married. Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman."

"[getting a checkup] DOCTOR: On average, how much alcohol do you drink in a day? ME: *sweating* NO ONE SAID THERE WOULD BE ANY MATH"

"I once farted in the Apple Store and everybody got pissed It's not my fault they don't have Windows"

"I think it was stupid of David Bowie keeping his cancer a secret. The amount of likes he would have got on Facebook would have saved him ten times over."